Christmas Eve

My day. 

Coming Back

Tomorrow Moe is three weeks old.  I'm starting to feel more myself again physically.  The kids and I are fairly settled in to the rhythm of me being home with them again.  I showered two days in a row.  All good things.

So tonight, to take advantage of the gloriously windy warm night, I walked Emilia's invitations down to the mailbox.  Before I left, Chris said, "Be careful."  Good advice at nearly 11pm.

Detour.

All through September and October, I've been experiencing this strange deception in which I step outside (of school, a store, my car, the house) and sniff the air and think "Ah, I'm so glad spring is here!"  ...Then, soon enough, reality sets in and I realize that what I'm smelling in the air are the last gasps of summer and that any day now, winter will set in, cold in my bones.  Even in the snow and hail at Emilia's soccer game Saturday, I stood shuddering in denial.  I think, after the most trying and emotionally exhausting summer of my life, something in the back of my heart wants a do-over so desperately that even the scent in the air sends me running headlong into the deception that spring is here and summer is coming.  Either it means I get that magical do-over or it means that winter's already over and the next summer is coming.  A different sort of chance at redemption.

Tonight on my walk, the neighborhood was mostly quiet aside from the traffic sounds and the intermittent bursts of laughter and shouting from the new neighbors a few doors down.  I was walking alone for the first time since the baby was born.  Walking at night, my favorite walking time.  Walking with mail in my hand.  The streetlights in our neighborhood cast a warm amber glow on everything, making it feel cozier and safer. Things felt right at home, like everything was in its place.

I wondered if perhaps I was involved in another strange deception.  In the last two months, kids were shooting guns at the end of our street in broad daylight, our car was broken into in the middle of the afternoon, and once again we considered moving away.  But tonight, it felt so comfortable and peaceful to walk through my neighborhood alone in the dark, I wondered if we were wrong to consider getting out of town.  I looked around for an answer, but all I heard was the leaf song of the oak trees on the boulevard, the lush ocean-roar of their summer sound giving way to the raspy rattle of their browning foliage.

God's Love

For the love of God will transform you.  When the love of God is through with you, you will be shot through with his light.  You will be changed into something you never expected to be. You will be what he planned you to be from the beginning-- the only one of you in the universe. (166 Mathewes-Green).  

I'm loving this message today.

A Timely Reminder

'Do what you can calmly and gently. Do not be disturbed about what you cannot manage yourself. God is well pleased with the earnestness and moderate anxiety with which we attend to our obligations, but He is not pleased with that anxiety which afflicts the soul, because He wishes our limitations and weakness to seek the support of His strength and omnipotence, with the trust in His goodness He will supply what is lacking to our weakness and shortcomings.'

-St Ignatius of Loyola

Moe

Moe's first little walk in the park!

Project Building Others Up

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3

This has been a great week of challenge and inspiration on SheReadsTruth.  In all our discussion of humility and those who labor among us, I was given the idea to try to look outward more and promote that via social media as a counter to the selfie-culture we're in.  And yeah, I'm guilty of that desire to self-promote too.  So this week, we're going to try an Instagram project to promote the good works of others.

The idea of good words is intentionally broad, so I'm excited to see what sorts of good works people notice and share.  The big goal of this is to look for the good in others rather than promoting the good that we ourselves do.

Philippians 2:25 (ESV)

25 I have thought it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus my brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier, and your messenger and minister to my need,

I like the words Paul uses to describe Epaphroditus:  brother, fellow worker, fellow soldier, messenger, and minister.  This description emphasizes the many ways people can do good works to build God's kingdom.

Sometimes this good work might be others soldiering on like we are, in whatever walk of life we're in.  Are you a pastor's wife?  Running a minstry of your own?  A college student trying to live righteously?  A fabulous mama raising some righteous little people?  A teacher?  A volunteer?  A person who goes to work each day and brightens the life of the people around here there?  A writer?  A messenger?

No matter what we're doing or what kind of life we are leading, we are all fellow workers and fellow soldiers.  I think there are also a lot of people, Christians or not, who are doing this kind of soldier's work with us.  This #buildingothersup #philippians2v3 project is to celebrate the work of these other soldiers.

In Hebrews, we're instructed to stir up one another.  My feisty side is all about stirring things up!  This is a good chance to stir up others to love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24–25 (ESV)

24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

 Encouraging one another.  Yes, please!  Because often appearing strong and righteous from the outside masks the constant struggle and the constant need to draw strength from somewhere.  The community on SheReadsTruth is filled with good people.  Strong women.  And the more time I spend in this community, the more I see the beautiful reality of each of our struggles.  I know I am more open there than I am in other communities because it feels safe there.  We build each other up.  Now it's time to take that spirit of building up and look outside of ourselves and our community.  I'm excited to look for the work of my fellow soldiers.  Join me!

#buildingothersup #phillipians2v3 #shereadstruth 

Walking Pregnant

I

To dive into that puddle and 

drown upwards 

into the treetops reflected in it.

II

Abundance of acorns on a two mile trail:

slender red with brown hats

bearded brown old men

dark green, squatty ones with pale green stripes

and original recipe. 

III

A sprig of white flowers 

between my ear and headphone.

IV

Pockets gradually bulge:

First a fragrant, green-husked black walnut

Then a cluster of spiky white wildflowers.

A branch of red berries and lush green leaves.

Buckeye.  Two more walnuts.

Empty spaces in memory of the seed pods 

My tired thighs did not have the energy squat down and retrieve.  

V

I smile twice at the man in the orange shirt.

His teeth are joyful.

And nod approvingly at a 

very well trained

collie.  

VI 

So many fallen trees have left their marks on the pavement.

I want to walk barefoot over the ghost white hickory nuts

And the sharp shells that litter the path;

Relish them digging into the flesh of my feet.

Essentially

I'm no expert at essential oils, but I'm starting to dabble.  I want to keep track of the blends that really work well for me so I can find them again easily.

Earlier this week, I cured a headache by rubbing this on my temples and the back of my neck:
4 drops eucalpytus (globulus)
2 drops spearmint
2 drops peppermint

Today, I made two roller balls for C to help with focus and attention.

Blend one is supposed to help with motivation:
10 drops lime
10 drops sweet orange
10 drops frankincense carterii
10 drops black pepper
half a rollerball full of fractionated coconut oil

This one is pleasantly manly


Blend two is supposed to help with attention:
10 drops vetiver
10 drops lavender (spike)
10 drops cedarwood
5 drops frankincense
half a rollerball full of fractionated coconut oil.

Update

Awake since three with strong contractions, but not Holy Smokes! contractions.

I'm ready, Moe.  Let's do this.

PLUS, it's both National Coffee Day and Feast of the Archangels, and it's got a nice, easy to remember date:  9/29.

Come out, baby!

Maternity Leave

Moe's still hiding out in the ol' ute, accomplishing incredible feats of gymnastics and hiccuping.  But I'm not going in tomorrow because  I already worked one week past my due date and the day to day planning isn't serving anyone's best interests (although I did bust out a pretty swanky differentiated lesson over two days last week bestpracticeslikewoah.).  So there's a sub hired and I sent her off with calendars and binders to plan this weekend.  I'm not all caught up on my grading yet, but I'm getting there.  And in the mean time, I'm looking forward to spending the morning with just my current baby while the others are at school.  

I'm going to miss work, though.  Here's one sight I love--

 my window words reflecting back into my room during first, second, and third periods.  I like when the message I put out into the world comes back to me, unbackwards and readable.  It's like the world encouraging me me back, "Hey!  Let YOUR Heart's light shine, too, Helenka!"  And my(ish) pennants, which have sparked so many good conversations with the kids.  And the carpet squares, which always remind me to consider going outside today.  Every day.  And the blanket, which makes a lunch break nap an option.  And the shadows of my plants.  Yes, it's a good home away from home.  

I am hoping to get some productive planning/making done and have a stress reduction bulletin board already in the works, mentally.  It'll be nice to put up when I return in January, for all of our sakes (mine and the students').
   

But knowing I don't have to go back tomorrow also takes a huge load off my stress.  I got to spend extra time savoring scripture this weekend without the nagging, list-making, hurry up part of my brain talking to me as loudly as it normally does.  There's still stuff to do, but the sense of urgency isn't as heavy.  I'm grateful for that and for the huge ease of burden that comes from not having to plan for school and kids and meals and home and errands and self tomorrow.  It's amazing how much a difference it makes to get to put that one thing down, and to have the freedom to be home for an extra nine hours to get things done, even if it's just in five or ten minute increments between being needed by the kids.  

Today, in anticipation of birthing and coming home, I bought two bottles of wine.  One because of its description and the other because it was in a square bottle and I'm a sucker for packaging.  But what I'm really looking forward to is being able to stop by the Spotted Owl again on a semi-regular basis.  I loved going there alone, being known as "the girl with the papers," talking to Will, and savoring a week night bourbon in one of my favorite neighborhoods.

"Time held me, green and dying

 though I sang in my chains like the sea."

This is how we morning

Today I'm especially grateful for Psalm 127. There will be more but it's pray writing time!

Escape

I really need something tall to climb so I can hide out for a while in the sun. Sigh.

Blessings

Today was an incredible blessing of a little more time, a healthy dinner (that I didn't have to make-- Thanks, C), great probing spiritual questions from my students, amazing (and unexpected) testimony and conversation from a woman I admire, Christ speaking truth through other people, offering encouragement to others via SheReadsTruth, re-reading words of love, getting progress reports in just in case, playing barbies and dinosaurs and sonic-boom-rabbits with my kids, and a decent night of sleep last night to fuel this baby-pushing enterprise that could be underway any minute now.

Clumps of hair came out in the shower today, which means my hormones are already shifting to post-partum mode. This waiting is such an amazing thing.  I am so in awe of my body, and I hope that my body understands that I recognize its power over me so there is no need to go into labor in the middle of the night.  Hear that, body?

Pregnancy

Celebrating the end of 38 weeks of pregnancy.  I am forever grateful for my Evolution Yoga and all their love and support.  I went to class, overwhelmed, fearful, and tearful the day I took the test in January.  I went to class on Monday to celebrate Labor Day.  I'm planning to go again tomorrow if Moe isn't here yet.  Each opportunity to show up brings me new understandings of myself, my body, and what it means to transfer what I learn in yoga to what I know about life.  

Also grateful for a good friend, K, who shared this blog  post with me.  I hope C and I can find our way through this pregnant pause.  We've done a terrible job at it so far this pregnancy, but we have a little more time, don't we?  And we should use it well.

Self indulgent

Detox bath
Reading a great book on the Jesus Prayer
Taking with C instead of grading
Reading article of social commentary on line
Taking a preggo selfie

Sleep.

#earnedit

Reclaiming

Before tonight got rough and heavy and all those other adjectives I so often use to me "ick," I was driving home from the grocery store and writing a soaked-in-gratitude blog post for this day.

I know that the wording and flow of it are gone now, much like my patience, energy, and ability to find more reserves of those depleted emotional fossil fuels are pretty much gone for the day.

Grace and peace.  Grace and peace.  Grace and peace.

So this morning, I was once again appreciating my desire for a car, someday, with a zippy strong engine.  No little four cylinder thing, no.  I want to drive with some power so I can feel the engine grip the road as I accelerate onto the freeway.  Oh, it feels so good even just switching from the Corolla to the van.  Someday, I'm gonna drive powerfully.  I remember feeling this way when I was getting ready to buy my first car in college.  But practicality, price, gas mileage all took precedence over muscle.  Someday, probably far away.  I'll be like "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena."

Side note, a few weeks ago, I walked past a restaurant with live music.  The band was playing oldies-- and one in particular when I walked by.  I remember thinking "Oh wow!  I really like that song and I always forget about it.  I should go download it when I get home."  Haven't been able to remember the song since then.  Bummer.  However, I really appreciate that a band was still bothering to learn it because it was a  more obscure song.  Something with "cupid" in the lyrics... which really narrows down the songs it could be from 1950-1970,

At the grocery store, I stood in line admiring the way I put my purchases on the conveyor belt.  I try to be mindful of the cashier and how they have to bag the groceries, so I do what I can to put up groceries to make that easier for them.  Today it seemed like I nailed it and I watched with appreciation of the cashier's efficiency and fluid movement as he scanned and bagged my items.  It's one of those little things he may not have even noticed, but I just hope it made his day a little easier, let him think a little less so he could day dream a little more.  Or maybe so he could just feel the flow of his work and appreciate that fluidity in himself.

I stopped watching him bag my groceries when a small reunion took place behind me in line.  A young woman and her new husband were in town visiting from Connecticut.  She spotted a high school classmate in the next line and they exchanged details of their lives.  She works for Sikorsky ("They make helicopters," she explained just in case) now and her classmate works for a mortgage firm.  I felt this rush of hometown pride in these two who help people touch the sky and work toward better lives in new homes.  How wonderful to hear them doing much with their lives and so early.

Then I was walking out with a loaded cart, grateful my back wasn't in agony and overwhelmed with gratitude that I could provide a full cart of groceries for my family.  I'm very behind with work right now and it's stressful.  But it's a combination of a necessary evil as I work to get maternity leave plans in place and the fact that my sister was visiting from out of town for the first two weeks of the year.  I had to prioritize her and also getting my own kids settled into school routines because family and people matter most.  But now I'm crazy behind and it's weighing on me.  That stress diminished  for a few moments when I powered up my legs to push the cart up the incline to my car.  Each spark of muscle fiber firing to remind me that I'm so blessed to have work that matters to me, work that allows me to provide food and medical care to my family.  Blessed to be able to drive to the store and load this food into my car instead of hauling it onto a bus or subway.


Then singing in the car on the way home.  That was good too.  Windows down in the heat to let it wash over my skin. Then I came home, anticipating a movie night with the fam... and from there things kind of fell apart.  But until that point, it was alright.  And someday maybe it'll be alright a little more of the time. That's my prayer.  That and grace and peace.  Someone once told me I was the most gracious person ever.  I wasn't sure exactly what he meant and it was bad timing to ask, but it was one of those compliments that sticks with you, you know?  Grace and peace.  Grace and peace.

Daniel 10

Chapter 10

10-12:
Verses And behold, va hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 And he said to me, “O Daniel, wman greatly loved, xunderstand the words that I speak to you, and ystand upright, for znow I have been sent to you.” And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling. 12 Then he said to me, a“Fear not, Daniel, for from the first day that you bset your heart to understand and bhumbled yourself before your God, cyour words have been heard, dand I have come because of your words.

Again in 19:
19 And he said, o“O man greatly loved, pfear not, peace be with you; be strong and of good courage.” And as he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Let my lord speak, for you have strengthened me.”

2 Cor 10:3-5
3 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. 4 For themweapons of nour warfare are not of the flesh but have odivine power pto destroy strongholds. 5 We destroy arguments and qevery lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to robey Christ,

Tear stained

Because words without action hurt worse than just no action. 

I marvel at how much a heart can keep breaking. 

Calm

I love my city, my Cleveland. I love driving through Tremont. I love the people with their plastic bags.  I love the girl driving her bike with no hands. I love lattes from Lucky's Cafe. I love the grit and the musicand even the humidity. 

Feeling grateful,  expansive, strong,  and calm in this moment.  

Been needing this moment for a long ass time.

Love,  love,  it's all around.

Daniel Chapter Six

This whole lion’s den story is cool enough, but it’s the little phrases and details in a lot of this that got me fired up this time through.  For example, in verse 3, it talks about how Daniel distinguishes himself “because uan excellent spirit was in him. And the king planned vto set him over the whole kingdom.” It’s subtle but important to note that it’s not through Daniel’s doing that there’s this excellent spirit in him.  He isn’t excellent in himself, but the excellence comes to him through the spirit that dwells in him.  I know that for myself, I like to attribute the excellent parts of myself to, well, myself.  I mean, obviously God made me this way, but I own that excellence as part of who I am.  This little phrase, “an excellent spirit was in him,” reminds me that God put this excellence in me.  That, in fact, it’s God’s spirit in me.  That’s a nice humbling reminder to give credit where credit is due.  And it reminds me of what I wrote yesterday about reflecting God’s light from people back to people, in the spirit of our yogic closing to each practice:  Namaste!  (which we say so peacefully, but it really is more of a joyful declaration)

Next up, this phrase from verse four: “ because he was faithful, xand no error or fault was found in him.” but that doesn’t keep Daniel safe.  I like to think that I’ll be safe and life will be smooth if I am faithful and don’t do crappy things.  Not so!  Unfortunately, in the last year, I wrecked my relatively clean record of not being a shady person.  Still, even when I was in the clear, life wasn’t easy and free from attack.  I think that’s important too.   We have to be good anyway.

Manipulation comes up in this chapter, too.  In verse seven, the other satraps and governors use basic peer pressure to get Darius to sign the decree, saying “All the shigh officials of the kingdom, the prefects and the satraps, the zcounselors and the governors are agreed.”  First of all, this is a flat out lie because Daniel’s not part of this decree.  This isn’t anything Darius wanted, but he goes along with it because so many people suggested it’s a good idea.  I have done this over and over in life.  Where I get hung up is when it’s that moral grey area where I struggle to navigate on my own because it’s hard to discern the best course of action.  So I turn to the counsel of the people around me and let their advice sometimes trump the words in my heart.  When I listen to others instead of myself, that’s when I’ve made some of the more questionable decisions in my life.  That’s when I feel more regret and get myself into quicksand.  I’m still working on this trusting myself thing.  It’s a process.  I always thought I was pretty secure in myself and knowing what is best for me, but in the past year I see how much I’ve let other people tell me what I need even when I know better.  I think I could have avoided a lot of pain if I let fear and others’ opinions govern my life less and listen to the signs around me more.  What a dummy I can be sometimes.  =)

Verse 10 : “he went home.”  Daniel hears about this decree and instead of confronting anyone, he just keeps to himself and does his own thing.  This reminds me of the opposite of the showy, name brand Christians that sometimes get under my skin.  When Daniel realizes his society has turned against him again and tried to get between him and his God, he just goes along slow and steady like always.  Yeah, he could have flaunted his piety and prayed in public, but he doesn’t.  He doesn’t try to make a point or stand his ground in some kind of show-down with the king and officials.  I really respect that.  That’s how we know it’s really about Daniel’s devotion to God and not any claim to fame or political posturing.  It’s important for us to examine our pious actions and be aware of when they are externally driven and when they come from a true yearning and devotion to God.  I guess I could be thankful that my pride doesn’t pull me in this way (plenty of other ways, but not this one), but it’s something I think I see a lot.  And honestly, when I observe it in a group or person, it makes me skeptical and I get all cynical.  So the holy example they are trying to set gets polluted by the publicity they seem to be seeking or posturing they seem to be doing.  I guess the best thing to do is to pray for them that their motivations are more genuine so they don’t turn more people off.

This part of Daniel is also a reminder of the power of habit and how important it is for us to build dedicated prayer time into our lives.  He doesn't seem to have to think very hard about whether to pray or where or when.  On SheReadsTruth, one of the companion scriptures was  2 Tim 3: 15 “and that afrom childhood you have known bthe sacred writings which are able to cgive you the wisdom that leads to dsalvation through faith which is in eChrist Jesus.”  If our prayer lives are ingrained in us, it’s harder to falter when that steadiness is under attack.

Finally, we get a king whose head is screwed on a little straighter.  After he realizes his decree busts Daniel, he doesn’t get defensive or make excuses.  In verse 14 he “was greatly displeased with himself.”  And then he doesn’t try to impress anyone or show his power, but he retreats to his palace to pray and spend the night working toward Daniel’s deliverance.  

Just like the kings are changing, Daniel is too.  In verses 16-18 Daniel doesn’t even say anything when he’s in trouble this time.  It’s like he doesn’t need to anymore.  Is it because Darius already realized what he did wrong or is it more because Daniel is resigned to his fate and to all the behavior of these silly kings.  Is it Daniel’s maturity now that he’s a grown man, mature and wise, instead of a youth like he was in Chapter 1?  I’m  not sure what to make of this change.  What do you think?

Finally, I like that we don't know what happened in the lion's den or what it was like for Daniel.  That ambiguity is important because it allows us as readers of this story to put ourselves in Daniel’s place and imagine lions analogous to our own.  This is so much more powerful than describing exactly what happened in there that night.  What craftiness on the author’s part!  The lit teacher in me is all drippy with appreciation of author’s craft.  Ha!  And it is echoed by this other scripture that SheReadsTruth paired with Chapter 6:  1 Peter 5:9 (NASB) 9 1aBut resist him, bfirm in your faith, knowing that cthe same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your 2brethren who are in the world.”  We all have lions to contend with.  The exact details aren’t important.  Our problems are proportional to what we can handle and the difficulty of contending with them is quite subjective.

I was just rocking out this verse in my journal last week.  Here it is again, but it seems like people focus on verses 6 and 7.  That’s handier for it’s bite-sized-ness, but the whole passage is just LOVELY.  

Philippians 4:4-9

4 pRejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. qThe Lord is at hand; 6 rdo not be anxious about anything, sbut in everything by prayer and supplicationtwith thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And uthe peace of God, vwhich surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and wreceived and heard and seen xin me—practice these things, and ythe God of peace will be with you.

Daniel Chapter Five

When the queen talks of Daniel, she says he should be called “ebecause an excellent spirit, knowledge, and funderstanding fto interpret dreams, explain riddles, andgsolve problems were found in this Daniel, hwhom the king named Belteshazzar. Now let Daniel be called, and he will show the interpretation.”

The names have been so important throughout Daniel.  At first, his name was entirely stripped away.  Now, his old name is just a small part of his identity to help people remember who he is.  The kings tried to change Daniel into someone of Babylon, but it didn’t work.  Eventually, they gave up and just called him by his birth name.  It’s as if they recognize that he will stay true to his real self and his convictions and so instead of forcing him to bend to their will, they allow him to be himself.  That’s encouraging as we work our own ways through the world.  At some point, we may get relief from the fight.

Side note, I just ate a whole Skor bar.  Skor bars are amazing, but if you know me, you know it’s mayyyybe once a year that I can pack away an entire candy bar in one sitting, let alone in one day.  I can already feel the sugar hitting my blood and my brain is going “boingy boingy boingy.”  Yipes.  I blame the cyst pain and the baby.  And since this candy bar was for them, I can still follow through and make and eat those oatmeal cookies later.  MMmmmmbuddy.

Back to Daniel:

I feel like for a long time I was like Nebuchadnezzar and only called on God after I tried worldly solutions (knowledge, doctors, advice from friends) or when I was very much freaked out -- either in a positive or a negative way. Not cool.  This is going to connect nicely to Chapter 6!  Just wait!

Daniel Chapter Four!

Even Nebuchadnezzar is able to proclaim God’s goodness and might (verses 1-3).  He was crazy!  And ruthless!  So taking the wild leap and assuming that we are probably not that crazy nor that ruthless, why is it so difficult for us to bear witness and speak God’s praises publicly?

In verses 4-9, Nebuchadnezzar still hangs on to his own god, even though he knows the real God’s power.  We do this all the time with things of this world that we turn into our idols.  How does this hold Nebuchadnezzar back later?  How does it hold us back?

Nebuchadnezzar still doesn’t get it.  He says some of the right words about God, but he doesn’t really understand.  This is also an easy trap into which to fall.

In verse 18, what sets Daniel apart isn’t his God-given ability to interpret because it wasn’t even a hard dream to figure out.  The symbolism would have been rather obvious to all of those interpreters.  It never says the don’t know what the dream means, just that the won’t make it known.  What set Daniel apart was his strength and courage to be honest with the king.  Also in this verse, the king can recognize the things and people of god, but he still hasn’t become a person of God himself.

I love the idea that sometimes we need to be humbled by our own senseless, animalistic behavior before we  can really learn.  That’s me 100%.

In Daniel 27, when Daniel says “Therefore, O king, let my counsel be acceptable to you: break off your sins by gpracticing righteousness, hand your iniquities by showing mercy to the oppressed, ithat there may perhaps be a lengthening of your prosperity.” It reminds me that understanding what God’s message is is not enough.  We can know about him and quote scriptures all day long, but it doesn’t matter unless we actually practice righteousness and break off our sins.  Knowing is the easy part.  Doing (or not doing) is the hard part. Nebuchadnezzar once again gets part of what he needs to do, but he’s not all the way there.  Daniel basically says “JUST. STOP.” Why is it so hard to just stop our sinful ways when we know it’s what we have to do and when it’s what we want to do?

Maybe it's because, like Nebuchadnezzar, 

we need to mess up 

so we can be brought low 

so we can be exalted in knowledge and understanding of God.

Looking at verses 28-33, I keep thinking about the fact that God gave Nebuchadnezzar twelve months to stop being a butt.  God knows that it’s not easy for us to change our lives, but it seems like a year is a reasonable amount of time to expect us to make some progress.  In all my psychology and marriage repair reading this summer, I ran into that over and over again.  That a year in counseling should be enough time to see substantial change and if that’s not happening, then… some kind of drastic next steps are warranted.  The type-A planner in me appreciates some kind of timeline, even though I know, logically, that we’re all different and this isn’t some kind of God-given statute about change.  The type B free spirit  in me appreciates that latter part.

Also related to this, God gives Nebuchadnezzar a year to figure himself out and change, but when that time is up, God acts “That very hour” to fulfill his word

Nebuchadnezzar being turned into an ox fits his progress through this story so far:  slow, strong, stubborn, powerful.  So I wonder if God had to reduce me to an animal that fits my flaws so I could learn a necessary lesson, what animal I would be.  My gut response was a squirrel.  They’re hungry, chattering, busy, skittish, and indecisive.  Sometimes they are reckless as they leap from branch to branch (but that recklessness overlaps with their bravery and skill, too).  Yeah, quite possibly a squirrel.  Oh, and they’re leettle.  I’m leeeeeettle too.

Throughout Daniel, the importance of recognizing God’s power and then honoring him are important.  Doing so restores power and honor to those who do it.  I also noticed that we see how God’s power works on different parts of us:  minds (through the dreams), bodies (nourishing Daniel and company when they were on their vegetarian diet), nature (keeping the men safe in the fire), and dispositions (Nebby as Ox-man! -- don’t you just totally want to draw a picture of a great king behaving like an ox?  Just me?  Fair enough).