Confident

Life is amazing in that we can not know what we are or where we stood until we have moved.  

I've begun to perceive my own confidence and strength in new ways in the last year.  It's a more tender, honest way of holding my own self, cupped in my own outstretched hands.  I'm both more and less than I once thought.  And I love myself more.  A love that is more real that the brazen swagger I used to hide behind so much of the time.

Lawn mowers ate the grass around our neighborhood today.  Changes are in the air.

I really don't care for cake.

Five

Trying a new practice of recording my days in terms of each of my five senses.  So far, I like how sometimes it's ambiguous which sense goes with which experience.

I find that I'm always drawn to clothes the colors of earth and sky.  Also dust.

More bad medical news this week. This is becoming a pattern.

So.  I'm working on re-framing and reassessing.

I like noticing when people stop themselves from saying something.  Sometimes I'm nearly dead sure of what they were going to say; other times it is utter mystery.  Every time, I wish they would have just said it.

There is a mitten in the chandelier.  There is a chicken in the fireplace.  It's snowing in April.  My body is, quite literally, self destructing.  From the nerves in my left foot out.

I have almost as many pots with dead plants as I do with live plants.

WHAT IS GOING ON?!

As this cannot possibly be my life, stay tuned for necessary and potentially drastic changes.